Playing the Fool
TL;DR: I pity the fool.
Originally Written: 24-Apr-2022
Word Count: 469
Read Time: 4 minutes
Readability Score: 77.8 (7th Grade)
Fool (noun): a person who acts unwisely or imprudently; a silly person.
Fool (verb): trick or deceive (someone); dupe.
Fool (adjective): foolish; silly.
I pity the fool that tries to start an essay without such a repugnant line.
Regardless, I start this essay, after what has got to be a most uncomfortable realm of writer's block.
Hell hath no fury like a writer dejected by their instrument.
Hell also hath no fury for a video game such as Horizon: Forbidden West.
It's one thing to measure the number of words written by an author.
It's another thing to measure the length of time between entries.
That, my friends, is where the work is happening.
Hitting life hard and jumping into the thick of it like any soldier in the trenches would do.
Mind you, I'm no soldier.
Girl, I'm not even a man.
But I digress further to continue to elaborate on my point.
Speaking up in my family is nothing short of admitting one has a problem with the entire family ecosystem and, therefore, the universe itself.
Let me repeat that.
My family, at times, can be toxic as fuck.
We are toxic when it comes to the fact that we save how we are truly feeling about other people to the end of saving face.
Whose face are we saving when we choose to lie to a person about how we're feeling?
Whose face are we scarring when we choose to play the part of pretending to be fine?
Whose face are we disappointing when we choose to act like we're better than that?
The only face you're trying to save is your ass.
The only reason why a person would feel the need to do that is to hide shame.
Shame for actions that took place long ago.
Shame for things that could have gone better.
Shame for the person you used to know when the life you spoke to was but a snow globe of thought.
Frankly, shame is a useless emotion.
Shame is pointless to the cause of taking responsibility and, if anything, only makes you a drag.
Simply put, everyone around you has to tolerate your bullshit in the name of your ego.
Fuck the ego.
Fuck everything about the ego.
The ego is a piece of shit.
It makes us do stupid things at times.
Even makes us stubborn to the cause of admitting we're wrong.
But being wrong is literally is just the first step on the path to success.
Being wrong is the first opportunity for which we have to learn something more.
Something more than us.
Something bigger than us.
Perhaps an even better version of what we call 'us'.
Or, better yet, a better version of what is called 'me'.