Content

When confronted with the truth about a matter, at least as it relates to one's behaviors, it is easy to lean into an excuse, reason, justification, rationale, or extenuating circumstance that forbid me from being who I say I am or who I ought to be.

At least, it's easy for me.

As a person who has learned the art of linguistic agility and dexterity, I am nimble in my defense and quick to have a solid response to why I am not showing up.

What took me years to realize is that, with every excuse, I was becoming less and less a person with extenuating circumstances and more and more of a person who just wasn't prioritizing the people they said they cared about.

Everyone has times where they cannot do what they intend to, but making commitments or expressing a desire to do something with someone needs to be met with action.

Why?

Because perception is reality.

It doesn't matter what your reason is, if people see you as a person who seems to make a lot of excuses for not doing something, then you're just a person who makes a lot of excuses.

Sure we have our reasons but, at the end of the day, people don't care about your reasons.

They care about the time you spend with them, if at all.

Saying you want to spend time with a person only to backpedal on your desire to commit to see them by leaving it up to chance that you run into each other demonstrates how highly you regard them.

Which is to say, if you leave an encounter with a person up to chance, then you leave your relationship with that person up to chance.

Meaning.

You give the other person a reason to opt out of even bothering.

Why?

Because it's exhausting trying to make plans with a person who won't commit to anything.

Why?

Because connecting with people ought to be easy.

Why?

Because a person will literally move mountains if they truly wanted to make time for that person.

Why?

Because we are bound to the people who we want attention from the most.

Why?

Because we don't know what to do when we're not making an excuse for our shitty behavior.

Even if it means actually doing something about it.