A Brave Person
TL;DR: From Brene Brown's How to Know if you can trust someone.
Originally Written: 16-Jul-2020
Word Count: 319
Read Time: 1.1 minutes
BRAVING: When we trust we are braving connections with someone.
Boundaries: I trust you if you are clear about your boundaries and you hold them and you are clear about mine and you respect them.
Reliability: I can only trust you if you do what you say you’re going to do. And not once. A scale is valid if it is accurate to the same measure every time we step on it. It means being clear on our limitations so we can show up to our commitments.
Accountability: I can only trust you if, when you make a mistake, you are willing to own it, apologize for it, and make amends.
Vault: What I share with you, you will hold in confidence. What you share with me, I will hold in confidence. Talking about other people means other people can’t trust you.Sometimes we share things that are not ours to share as a way to hotwire connection.
Common Enemy Intimacy: Relationship built on hating the same people.
Integrity: I cannot trust you if you do not act from a place from of integrity and encourage me to do the same.
Choosing courage over comfort
Choosing what’s right over what’s fast, fun or easy.
Practicing your values, not just professing them.
Non-Judgment: I can fall apart, be in struggle, and ask for help without feeling judged by you and vice versa.
When we assign value to needing help, when we offer help to others we think less of them too.
Real trust doesn’t exist unless it is reciprocal.
Generosity: It is trusting if you can assume the most generous of intentions when we forget
You can’t ask people to give what you don’t have.
Maya Angelou: I don’t trust people who don’t love themselves, but say I love you - be wary of the naked person offering you a shirt.