Through Which, I Write
Originally Written: 29-Jan-2019
Word Count: ### / ## minutes
From as early as I can remember I have always wanted to help people, regardless of the shape or form.
I always have always had a passion in writing, though I've often I felt I needed to have something important or groundbreaking to say if I were to claim myself a writer.
My life has had some crazy moments, but telling my life story always seemed cheesy and narcissistic and, therefore, right up my alley to do.
The meaning I have created that drives me to write this book, however, is to document my thought processes that I use to actively resist what can be a daily spiral at times.
It is the answer to a problem in my mind I feel only I can solve. For I cannot lay this sword to rest unless what I learned from using it has been steeled in the one I forge anew.
Which is to say, this warrior of the mind must, at some point, come home from blighting its own soils and decide it's time to thrive if they are to ever see gardens.
What I learned after fighting in many battles, solving problems, and tackling foreboding obstacles in life was to start with the warrior instead of focusing on the sword.
Meaning, one must be healed and capable of wielding a sword before they make such considerations.
I survived my struggles in childhood, no context.
I worked to pull myself past being a statistic to be content.
Spoilers: I wasn't.
Then I became a statistic, that's context.
I fell victim to a lesson that took me years to learn: you have a choice in how you feel about your experiences of life.
If you constantly view yourself as a survivor, you will put yourself in situations you feel the need to continually survive.
If you want life to feel like sunbathing on the beach or swimming in the ocean, you can.
If you don't know any other way of being though, it can be hard to accept you've been ignoring the shore this whole time as a place you can allow yourself to be.
The context through which I am writing is one that came into a world that didn’t like how things were and fought to conquer what it truly thinks to be evil in this world, regardless of how real or imaginary the foes are.
I declare myself victorious in the battles I needed and will face in life simply because I have declared myself a warrior in the fight for my own life, at risk of losing anything I stood to gain.
To truly vanquish evil, the only way to thrive after surviving an experience is to upcycle the experience.
In my journey as a warrior in my own life to fight against the inclination to allow intrusive thoughts into my mind, I came to the humbling understanding that no one’s pain matters more than another.
This was only after working through my own pain enough to be able to see past it, but it gave me insight into something deeper than the bullshit I trudge through.
I realized a harder truth that everyone is struggling to figure out their next steps in life, not just those who obsess over it. These are the lessons learned from a warrior who’s single greatest achievement was to get outside of their own head and understand what it means to truly live for yourself as a warrior for your own life.
To fight for your life like it matters, because it does.
My dad taught me the most impactful things you can do are the things you do for others out of concern for their well- being. To take care of them in ways you know they cannot.
By working to create a better life for others than what you had to deal with, you therefore make the world a better place to live in for that person. You make life beautiful through the art of being human.
However, not everyone needs saving and a lesson I learned from following this way of being was it is more impactful for you to grow out of mindsets today that can make life easier for yourself tomorrow so you can help others more effectively with the increased awareness of what you have to offer.
He taught me the value of taking what you are given and passing on what has helped you.
This is the act of sharing what is called tribal knowledge.
Tribal knowledge is knowledge of how to achieve, conquer, or tackle a certain matter that is not well known or documented, leaving behing a knowledge gap for those unaware of such a way of doing things accustomed to whatever is considered the current norm.
Tribal knowledge exists in many forms, but I like to think of it as the knowledge achieved from doing something over and over again enough to refine the process in your mind and be able to share with at least one other human who can use it to effectively accomplish the same thing.
The process I have refined, in my efforts to pull myself out of frequent depressions, is the process of uplifing a person.
I know how to find the right context to get a person to feel motivated to tackle what is in front of them, even if I cannot always do that for myself.
Regardless, let this project unfold as it may and those who seek to listen benefit from what I have to say
My context is yours to chew on and share, just don't mind the smell.
I'm not telling you what to do with my words, but I request a moment of your stay.
There's a reason to this all and I do mean well.
What would compel an individual to share in this way?
Only time will tell.