Context is...
What We Miss


Insert tl;dr

  • Originally Written: 24-Mar-2020

  • Word Count: ### / ## minutes


Ever have a day where you floundered for something to do?

What about a day where you struggled to keep up with it?

Is there a difference between these two days? Can they be placed on a scale of badness or are these days just different?

When I catch myself trying to resolve my experience into one of good or bad, I do what I can to remind myself things are just different from what I expect. There is no rightness or wrongness to a moment.

Life doesn’t move as fast as you’d want it, nor as slow as you need it to at times.

What life does is move at its own pace, with your interaction with your experience being the only choice in the matter.

We can focus on what triggers our anxieties and frustrations or we can focus on what triggers our joys and creativity.

The point of making lemonade from the lemons you get in life is to remind yourself, time and again, that we are not entitled to anything more than our next breath. You only get so many opportunities to appreciate what you have over what you think you’re missing.

When we compare our idealizations with our reality, it’s easy to get disappointed by our own thoughts. This act of filtering out the positives you have gives emotional weight that drags on your experience of it. You have made a judgment of an entire experience as bad over taking a more objective stance on the matter.

It’s hard to feel objective on anything. The reality is I don’t think we can’t be. Our most logical of decisions are still rooted in how we are feeling.

Sometimes I am applying a mindset of survival to my experience when I’m in moments of complete safety around people who only want to get to know me.

When you view a moment as something you need to survive, then you will act in ways that indicate you are trying to survive something.

Survive what?

An idea.

When your perspective is skewed in ways that do not permit you to fully believe you deserve some of the things you have, you will act in ways that show you do not think you deserve what is in front of you.

How does one outgrow a complex?

My only thoughts are to uproot the weeds that continue to be watered, day after day after day. The ideas we plant and grant attention to in our minds are what will influence our ways of being and the ways we interact with others.

When the mind is filled with weeds, it shows. Tending to the gardens of the mind means giving focus to the ways we are thinking and making decisions about ourselves and our lives. It is looking at how we are feeling and letting ourselves feel that way. It is plucking what is choking other ideas from flowering in our minds to give way to more color.

Life isn’t always going to go the way you want it, but you can affect how you think about it. You have a choice to improve how positively you think about the time you have to connect with others and yourself. You have a choice to gain something worth appreciating out of your experience. You have a choice to forgive yourself for your mistakes so you can move on with making your next. Life isn’t always going to go the way you want it.

So spend time trying to see life more for what it is. That’s the one you’re working with. When you’re trying to interface with something that isn’t there, you’re attempting to make real the imaginary.

Practice non-judgement for these thoughts – everyone has them.

But then let them go.

We continue to live life in a fantasy mode while experiencing impostor syndrome for our actions the more we ignore the effects they have on others and ourselves.

Persistence isn’t what enforces a perspective, it is attention to it. When you choose to be persistent, what you are doing is directing focus toward feeling a certain way, sometimes at all costs. Practicing compassionate thinking begets compassionate thinking when experiencing life’s rawest moments. How else does one excel at any other hobby, sport, or skillset?

Witness yourself as a person experiencing what you are feeling, but do not dwell on the feeling of your experience. Observe it and then let it pass along, a new thought is to be had. A new experience to be made.

Another feeling for our minds to grab.

The sooner you let go of a negative emotion, the sooner your mind has a chance to reach for thoughts coming from a place that is more positive.

The sooner you let go of things that cause you to dwell on them, the sooner you can put your mind toward more effective matters to deal with.

The sooner you let go of the small stuff in front of you, the more easily you can deal with the bigger stuff ahead of you.

It’s one thing to berate our experience of even having to work through a mess to clean up, but it’s another to hold attention to the magic that created it in the first place.

Our desires create our obstacles. What is in our way is not a function of ourselves but of the things we want for ourselves.

Everyone has obstacles to clear in life and many of them are unseen by most. Many of them don’t make sense to others, but they are still obstacles to action that many who are depressed in feeling face for themselves.

To aspire invites headache. Problems are never in short supply when you are constantly aspiring for a moment to be better than how it actually is.

What does run short is the length at which one can talk about their problems before they’ve been over talked.

Before they’ve been squeezed of significance.

Before they don’t matter to anyone but yourself.

We all want to matter to others, but what we really need is to matter to ourselves enough to be in a mode that is about being of contribution.

When you are depressed in feeling, it is hard to witness yourself for your sadness and frustration when the bass to life has been turned down low.

When there aren’t any feelings to win on the dance floor.

Not when what is in front of you is a selection of life’s highs that comes with varying degrees of risk for upset and disappointment.

What is foolish in pursuing such risky feelings is not what happens when we fail to achieve what we want. What is foolish is choosing not to try again when we stumble. What is foolish is allowing a mistake to define us. What is foolish is to give an idea the weight it needed to fall into a stack of others that have prevents us from acting on our purest intentions. What is foolish would be to never take a chance in the first place.

What I want most out of myself right now is to be the person I know I can be. I think that’s what everyone wishes they could be, really.

Life goes on after making a mistake. Don’t let the imperfection of one moment get in the way of finding perfection in the next.

What you do with your next breath is your choice to make. Make one you’re happy with.