Originally Written: 18-Feb-2019
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You’re either an artist or you're not. You do not become an artist by simply funneling characters into a word count as one would divert the ramp coming out of a cement truck to pour into a frame.
Those are not attempts at creating art but attempts at being good enough for someone else. An artist runs words, colors, sounds, and experience into each other like they were trains on the same track colliding and they do it just to see the fireworks, to feel a sense of connectedness to their experience when approaching the systems of life we operate within and by. It is a reaction to what they learned about the world and is an interpretation based on that experience that unfolds into something defiantly meaningful in the face of any naysayer. Art is self-expression and therefore cannot be invalidated or determined as the result of an incalculation because it came from the world of Feeling and that world has no fucking rules inside of it. The world of Feeling is pure chaos and if it does come with but one rule (or learning) it is that you cannot think through Feeling. Feeling is pure induction of life into your mind and acts like a switch the moment you cross the barrier from thinking feeling into the wondrous, colorful action that comes with Feeling.
The world has those looking for answers and others waiting to hear back on the answer so they can finally make a decision that is too late to make. The passionate apply themselves to life with a burning fire that averages out to a wonderfully singed experience at the end and in that way they have accomplished the art of living, which is with intense passion and fervor
Art is how we show ourselves as singularities in the context we are being looked at, with each instance being like a microscope slide through which we are examined and conjecture about who we are or were are developed by others as meaningful to them or not. We are all inspired by people and the people we take inspiration from are those living their lives in a context that feels meaningful to us, that we relate with and to its highest elevation of expression.
Losing Individuality with Community.
In order for an increasing context of people with vast differences to be accommodated by identifying key standards to operate by. As more standards are adopted, society feels the sensation of a loss of individuality, which is truly at stake in our future generations as we become more aligned into a self-reinforcing way of thinking about ourselves as a people.
Millenial / heavy lifting
If your life is a barbell to bench press at the gym, then the facts of life are the weights you add to it. For many Milennials, we had the experience of many of the facts of life sheltered from us because our parents knew how heavy the load was and didn’t want their kids to have to struggle in the gym of life as they learned to be fit in the world. What they thought they were creating was space, but the reality was that it made many of us think we were lifting an increasingly heavy load over time but it was really just our spotter doing the hard work. A spotter is only useful as your fallback the moment you have pushed yourself to the very edge of your strength in a repetition. They catch you when you fail, they do not pick up the bar and hold it for you because it is your life to live and you don’t stand to get any of them gainz if you can’t have an opportunity to hold the bar for yourself and feel the coldness that is life’s hardest experiences that lend themselves to the warmth and pleasures of comfort.
The Perfect Silence
Is the sensation of a mass of people all focusing in on one person and witnessing them experience their greatest joys. It is something we crave when we are at our moments of perfect chaos. The Perfect Silence is when we feel most in control of our lives and most certain, if there ever were a thing. Our concept of control over our universe is what makes the difference between living life on cruise control through your hometown or hydroplaning on the Bay Bridge. Our sensation of control is our ability to bring things home from in life after a long day of work and feel comfortable when you take off your shoes. If you don’t feel like your life is in control, then you won’t be able to rest within your own mind at the end of a day as you mentally pace around thinking of what mental bills have yet to be paid to things we still haven’t resolved for ourselves like credit card debt that keeps piling on with each failure and chaos life throws our way. The Perfect Silence is a tropical island everyone tries to reach, but can only visit at the most, and your stance on how that feels in a given moment is what will dictate your current experience of fairness in a moment when life’s currents decide to churn when you just propped your feet up. Whenever we feel chaos in our lives, we seek to control it by centering the optics of the universe on us and asking it to witness us for something. Absolutely everything you call attention to is indicative of what you care about. The moments where life’s flow hits a snag are the moments where they conflict with your understandings and preferences for how the world is and behaves to and around you. When we feel our lives are chaotic, we will do things often drastic in order to feel like we have a sense of control over our fate. If going off the edge were the same as a gutter ball in a bowling alley, then life’s coping mechanisms are merely just bumpers in the lane that do not have the same coverage and hold as what others have available to themselves. My life had an objectively high degree of uncertainty to deal with, but I had an incredible bolstering of support and coping mechanisms that ultimately talked me off the ledges I have walked to in my darkest hours. When I look back on those specific days, I can see that what I wanted most was absolute control when I felt I had absolutely none. I felt trapped into living a life that others wanted for me and that I couldn’t live up to while also feeling invalidated for how I felt because of constant gaslighting and rejection of any experience of pain I felt as sourced from anyone but myself. I felt I was worthless at times and the context you think through during those moments of life are so deep in the far off reaches of the galaxy that oftentimes no one can call you loud enough for you to hear anything but the echoes of the worst things said to you as you walk through time believing in those consistent messages as true. The Perfect Silence is something I feel the suicidal create for themselves as a last ditch effort to be witnessed by the universe as, minimally, a person who experienced too much pain for it to continue to survive in this world in the contexts they were born in and met in life. If attention to myself as a person of value cannot be granted, then the optics will be directed at the tragedy that was considered a waste of a precious life. That is