Originally Written: 20-Mar-2020
Word Count: ### / ## minutes
When we pursue what would make ourselves feel more content with our current experience, we are acting within alignment of our intentions.
When we set an intention, we create a potential for our lives to change in a direction that is different than where we are currently likely headed. Intentions are what shift the flow of the current moment into a direction we view as in our favor.
Even if it’s waking up before the sunrise to a workout and some writing done, the mere act of resisting one’s desires to relax defines who I am.
I’m motivated, and dammit all I am to a fault.
I show myself for my intentions too much because I know I live into them too much at times. I can grow obsessed with some ideas to the point of over watering them with attention and not feeding them with effort.
I know I live into them and I know when I’m caught for doing so.
I just don’t know how to address it at times. Meditation helps, but it isn’t difficult for my self-talk to slip at times into suckling on fear-driven thoughts, giving them weight at times.
I lose sleep over the stupidest shit. Ruminating on thoughts irrational, letting the point of focus be on what disables, restricts, or confines over what enables, expands, and grows. It’s just silly.
The importance of centering oneself in thought is to allow you a greater understanding of when you are slipping into the gravity of your emotions. It’s about learning what balanced looks like and then executing on what keeps that balance going through life’s more challenging moments.
It’s about keeping a clear head.
It’s about looking at yourself as deserving of the things you want, not desperate to what you are after. Neediness is not cute.
But we all have needs; there is no need for shame in having needs.
Shame gets in the way of thinking you deserve the things you want.
Shame blurs my focus when I make mistakes, fumbles, or misspeaks.
I don’t know how to survive a mistake sometimes other than to feel like a sorry bitch, which isn’t productive at all. I can beat myself up when I make the smallest of slips or gaffs, let alone over analyze a situation to the point of squeezing the moment dry of feeling in search for meaning.
I get stuck. I get lost in my own intentions as I feel compelled to act in ways that my ego thinks will protect me from further harm.
I guess we all do.
It would be unfair to say others do not experience shame with respect to their own mistakes and misspeaks. Just because life does not respond in ways we expect or hope does not mean there isn’t something in the moment to take when we don’t get what we want, which is a moment of gratitude.
Gratitude is what you practice when you miss out on what you otherwise think you deserve right now. Gratitude is what pulls your actions into alignment with intentions built on a foundation of compassion for yourself. It allows you to drop your ego by raising awareness to what your ego really wants and needs, followed by giving it to yourself.
It’s how you get over yourself enough to get back on track with being the person you tell yourself you want to be in the face of conditions or situations you are not happy with. It is how you restore integrity.
Things can’t always go perfectly or according to plan. There’s something to be said about planning more realistically, but being able to quickly adjust to new information is what gives us the opportunity to set new intentions.
When we set an intention, we create a potential for our lives to change in a direction that is different than where we are currently headed. Intentions are how we put into language where we will resist the flow of life and come against things that matter to us.
New intentions direct us into higher ways of being that push us to be the people we want to be to others. So if you want to be a compassionate person in the face of a confronting situation, you simply ask yourself “what are things a compassionate person would do?”
A compassionate person would drop their sword over drawing it to clash with the flow of life. They would recognize something about their perspective is outdated, non-value adding, and ineffective in helping them achieve what the ego wants, which is some context of life that would make it feel content, if even for a minute.
When we are not content and build actions off of emotions based in fear, sadness, or frustration, we show ourselves for our intentions to others when we are being self-righteous to save or protect ourselves.
Self-preserving actions are just that, but it does not get you what you want if what you want is more than a life that is just about the self.
You can’t always get what you want.
There’s a lot more to take stock in than what you think you’re missing.